The Funky Rollout Of CHSN, Jed Hoyer's Five-Man Acoustical Jam
Sector 1901 - The Funky Rollout Of CHSN
I won't do you the disservice of pretending I saw the preseason opener (Soul Coughing was surprisingly joyful), or even have any access to it, because the Hawks' website doesn't have a replay of it, or even highlights. That's good hustle by everyone involved. I'm told that the "broadcast" of it was just the scoreboard feed and the radio simulcast, which definitely gives off the air of a truly professional outfit.
They're going to launch CHSN next week, in time to air the last half of the Hawks' preseason schedule. Now you and I both know that's more than enough preseason hockey for anyone with even a tenuous grip on their sanity. But considering this is the channel that the team itself is running, you'd think they'd treat their own product a little more seriously. Perhaps they're just taking their cues from Marquee, who never really gave any thought to what they'll show when there weren't Cubs games (Marquee is honestly where the Hawks should have ended up if either the Cubs or Hawks could have thought about more than the five inches in front of their noses).
Still, the rollout of CHSN is worth discussing. While the punting of Chris Vosters in favor of Rick Ball was maybe a touch ruthless, it's the kind of thing an NHL cornerstone franchise does. Hawks broadcasts aren't supposed to be play-by-play karaoke, which is how the Hawks treated it for a season, and then the remedial class for which only Vosters was qualified. Ball is a genuine hockey voice who has anchored the back half of Hockey Night in Canada, so he's clearly up to the challenge and knows how the sport should be treated. It won't take long before Ball's voice will be just as much a part of your winter as the gray skies and chill in the air and the snow sludge you tracked back into your house.
On the other side of the coin, launching a new channel was an opportunity to remake the studio show, which has felt like a half-assed effort for...well, ever since the Hawks got good and relevant, really. It's understandable why the Bulls stuck with what they had, as Jason Goff, Kendall Gill, and Will Perdue are informative, funny, honest, and share an easily noticeable bond. Those three have never hesitated to call the Bulls out when needed, and thus Bulls fans never feel like that trio are selling them something.
Sadly, the Hawks just went with what they've had, once again showing a fear of change and risk that they didn't show in the broadcast booth (perhaps Darren Pang didn't want to throw that much weight around. After all, he doesn't have much of it to throw! KAAAAROOOOOOOGA!) If you're reading this newsletter I can guarantee you know more about hockey than host Pat Boyle. Tony Granato is fine, though his personality is nestled somewhere between "waiting room" and "saltine." Caley Chelios offers nothing, never has, and never will. My kingdom for a studio show that isn't afraid to have someone there who can teach fans something, show them something they can't see while watching the game live.
But I also can't pretend to know what the majority of Hawks fans want. It could be that they're fine with this. Or maybe, like you and me at intermission, they go take a piss and then flip to another game for 10-15 minutes. It's disappointing because even the White Sox have managed to make their pre- and post-game shows appointment television for their fans, though not every team can be as closely connected to a human carnival ride like Ozzie Guillén. It's the same for Bulls fans, who can't wait to hear what Goff, Gill, and Perdue are going to have to say, especially after an ugly loss. (And there'll be plenty of those incoming for all three teams. Was this really the best time to launch their own channel together?)
The Hawks haven't been interested in doing that, and so it will continue. But I guess that's why some doofus like me is here, huh?
Between G-Man And Nisei - Jed Hoyer's Five-Man Acoustical Jam
Jed Hoyer was never going to be able to hide once he had his coach and two veteran players basically go to the press and give him a grade of "Must do better." And so on Tuesday he met the media in Philly, and boy did he have some doozies.
“All of us, from me on down, we have to look at what we need to do this offseason, and going forward, to get to that place consistently,” Hoyer said. “It’s not about doing it once; it’s about getting to a place where we feel like we can do it consistently.”
You'll recall that this was a line Theo Epstein used quite consistently when the Cubs were at the beginning of his rebuild, and seeing as how Hoyer's only qualification for the job is that he lit Theo's farts a few times, it's not much of a surprise that he would choose to parrot him.
The problem is that Theo was saying this at the at the dawn of building an entire system and team, whereas Hoyer is now at the crux of taking the team from middling piss to actual contender. The pieces to be "consistent" are already supposed to be there, and they really are. There's a supporting cast in place. What they need is something to support.
Sahadev Sharma gives away the game, too:
"Expecting them to act like the Phillies team that defeated them Monday would be folly. That isn’t how Hoyer has behaved, and it isn’t how ownership wants him to behave. The Phillies have a luxury tax payroll nearly $30 million above the Cubs'"
Yes, who would want the Phillies' multiple playoff appearances, star players, and the excitement they've generated for their fans the past three seasons? It's hardly a match for watching Hoyer stand there with his dick in his hand. Are we really supposed to give a shit what the Ricketts have to pay in luxury tax?
It's also unfair to the Phillies. Yes, they've spent a lot of money, but they also have produced Alec Bohm, Aaron Nola, Christopher Sanchez, and Ranger Suarez to go with the talent they bought. They've blended money and development on the same plane as the Dodgers, and arguably have developed more talent lately than L.A.
“When we talk about the gap, we’ve come a long way, and I feel really good about the position we’re in,” Hoyer said. “But there’s still a gap. That last stretch, that’s what we have to make up. I feel like we’ve come a long way, but we have a lot of room to get to those 90-win teams that we need to have. Last year, the wild card was fairly low. This year it looks like it’s going to be in the 90s. The goal has to be: How do we get in that range?”
It's not much of a secret, dipshit. The Cubs need stars. The best hitter of his generation is out there for the right money this winter, and he's young enough that he'll give the Cubs their precious "consistency." Dressing up Juan Soto as some sort of expensive stop-gap is insulting to anyone who has ever watched a baseball game. But I'm dreaming, obviously.
Let's get to the more pressing matter on Hoyer's desk. How he closes that gap and the position he's in, because the position he's in is a mess and could easily prevent him from closing that gap. Yes, the Cubs have a lot of kids they're excited about. But they don't fit anywhere. How are they going to get, say, Owen Caissie and Kevin Alcantara into the lineup next year if they earn a spot, when the outfield already has Happ, PCA, and Bellinger? Bellinger is unlikely to go anywhere because $27 million for a three-win player is just about as well as he's going to do. Also, Seiya Suzuki has the DH spot locked up in this scenario.
Now, one could look at Happ's and Suzuki's four-win seasons both at the age of 30 and think that's prime sell-high territory. It probably is, and let's ignore for a second that Hoyer handed Happ a no-trade clause like a dingus. Let's just say that Hoyer could move both Suzuki and Happ in the winter and replace them with some combo of Caissie, Alcantara, and whoever else. That's great, but are those kids going to step in and immediately replace the four-win seasons at the plate that both Happ and Suzuki just produced? It's unlikely, given the widening chasm that is the jump from AAA to the Show now. Which means, great, Hoyer would have opened a spot for his kids, but the Cubs wouldn't be getting any better. At least not until 2026, and another six month journey to the middle in 2025 is probably going to see Hoyer Jazzy Jeff'd onto Waveland.
The only upgrade immediately available to him is moving Nico Hoerner to be replaced by Matt Shaw, but the drop in defense could partially cancel out the jump in offense to still leave the Cubs running in place.
The other move is to package some of these prospects who have nowhere to go for an established star. Except it's hard to know who that is, and it's not going to be Vlad Jr. Probably can't get that either by packaging Happ and Suzuki or others.
For all the money Hoyer did spend this past season, it's given him a roster that's A. not good enough and B. kind of stuck where it is. Jed may be staring at that gap for a while yet.
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