Things From The Champions League: A Goalie Goal Solves All

UEFA gets the finish it wants, without having to think about whether it's actually what anyone else wants.

We're in the second year of the "Swiss Model" of the Champions League, and with the novelty of last season wearing off, this edition felt like it was starting to get some sideways glances from fans. The argument for it was that there was more to play for, with 24 spots of advancement instead of 16, and some strata within those 24 that kept things interesting beyond just the cut-off of advancement or no. There is a difference between getting to skip the play-ins and having to deal with that to get to the last 16. Then again, PSG kind of ruined that by coming out of the play-in round and barely having to sweat while Juggernaut'ing their way to the trophy last spring. This time, the length of the league phase started to weigh heavier without the newness, and there definitely was a staleness.

The cold-hearted amongst us, which no one would ever accuse me of being of course, would snicker about all the drama yesterday being centered around teams that won three of eight games, including Marseille, that had just gotten clubbed by Club Brugge. On the other hand....

GOALIE GOAL!

It is true that this kind of jeopardy was rarely found in the old group stages. Teams had to win on the last day to go through, sure, but there wasn't the confusion and breathlessness of hearing results from elsewhere and how that changes what is needed, minute by minute at times. Benfica-Madrid, for the last quarter of it, was a situation where both teams had to score, even though Benfica was winning 3-2. Except Benfica didn't seem to know it until the last minute. Better late than never!

Does this incredible moment justify the new format? It's hard to get there. Ridiculous moments happened in the old group stage, too. Ahem...

It still feels like too many games. The Premier League's dominance comes through that much more, where five of the six teams in it are in the top eight, and wonky-ass Liverpool and Spurs are even in the top four. Why is there a "draw" after the league phase? Can't we just go by final positions and pair off 9 vs. 24, 10 vs. 23, etc.? Then let Arsenal face the lowest seed remaining? UEFA just loves a draw.

But all of this is a hard argument to make against GOALIE GOAL.

-Ok, let's fixate on Benfica-Madrid for a bit longer. If you watched the last part of the match, it was obvious that Benfica didn't know they needed another goal until the last kick. Madrid had a set-piece right before that, and when Anatolly Trubin collected the cross, he did so on his chest and waited to grab it, which is what a keeper does when he's just trying to run the clock out. Benfica clearly thought 3-2 was enough, and Jose Mourinho admitted as much. They took off their entire front four in the dying minutes, in fact.

Madrid needed another goal, too, but down to 10 men they struggled to create an opening for an equalizer. Then they went down to nine men, which ruled out any chance of them getting the goal they needed. Which maybe meant they kind of gave up on the whole thing altogether, as we'll see in a second.

UEFA will probably also relish that as Benfica realized what they needed, and waved the keeper up for the winning freekick, Man City were shitting themselves in Manchester, because if Madrid went up and scored into the empty net, City would have been dumped into the play-in round for a second straight season. I suppose that's the kind of thing only this format could create.

Right, back to Madrid. Down to nine men, almost certainly can't find another goal, sentenced to the play-in round...is that justification for this?

That's five Madrid players defending the box against eight Benfica players. Did Madrid just give up? Were they thinking if they somehow win this header they'll get a 2-on-0 break the other way? What is Brahim Diaz doing there, exactly? A one-man wall for a free kick from 40 yards? If Courtois gets beaten directly from there, just take him out back and shoot him. This is definitely a shrugged shoulders emoji approach to defending, even in these incredibly unique circumstances.

But anything that gets us a proper Mourinho celebration is a good thing.

-There won't be the expected amount of teeth-gnashing from PSG, seeing as how they came out of the play-in round last season to win it. There is a feeling outside of Paris that some of the starch has come out of them, which would be understandable, as they're one of the clubs that has played year-round, thanks to that ferkockt Club World Cup.

It's probably as simple as PSG just aren't getting the finishing they did last season, at least not yet. They were sunk out of the top eight because of two draws with Athletic Bilbao and Newcastle at home. But in those games, they piled up nearly 5 xG combined, and yet only scored two goals. They missed a penalty against Newcastle. They were able to surf not really having a true striker last season, because so many of their players couldn't miss. That magic runs out, eventually. Did everyone think Dembele was going to be a goal-per-game guy forever?

They did provide a pretty excellent demonstration of a paratrooper's club, when Lewis Hall of Newcastle had to pick up his shorts somewhere around Orsay...

Excellent defensive positioning, I think.

-Napoli crashed out, as the six guys they have left healthy weren't able to hold off Chelsea. It continues a pretty horrific record for Antonio Conte in the Champions League. But as The Athletic's James Horncastle points out, Conte's specialty has been taking teams that have been way off the pace, and immediately turning them into champions, which hasn't left time to bolster squads to take on the burden of defending a title and competing for the Champions League. Napoli had finished 10th before Conte turned them around immediately into champs. Chelsea finished 13th before he did the same trick. Juve were seventh. Inter were a Champions League squad when Conte took over, and they're the exception. so that's probably the one he really should have done better with.

It's a weird spasm of what is a remarkable coaching career. Perhaps he's been too successful, too quickly, to make an impact in Europe, as his teams just get there before they're ready.