Lost In America - Daily World Cup Newsletter: Day 6 - Lead Guitars And Movie Stars Get Their Tongues Beneath Your Hood
If Fox and any other World Cup broadcaster were to design a day in the World Cup, it might look a lot like Tuesday.
France 3 - 1 Senegal
When Argentina gets out and struts their stuff later in the evening, or Germany puts up a touchdown, the announcers trip over each other's dicks to pronounce it a STATEMENT. LAYING DOWN A MARKER. WARNING SHOT.
But I'd bet what's more intimidating to the competition is a side only choosing their moments and still tearing apart a quality opponent. That's what France did to Senegal, who are the African champions after all (on the field, at least when they bothered to stay on it). France were utterly vapid in the first 45, then had Olise and Dembele swap places, and suddenly it was Bacchanalia. They really only had to put 25 minutes together to pile up 10 shots, eight on target, and 1.75 xG.
Mbappe and France had made a stink about how they were going to get after it, which they hadn't in other tournaments, but this was Deschamps-ball at its best in the first half. Two holding midfielders, neither with any license to pass forward, and slowly getting the ball to their quartet of doom up front while providing them little space to do shit. This was "I'm not touching you" football.
After halftime, Olise was allowed to go wherever he wanted, do whatever he wanted, and France looked otherworldly. If he wanted to pick the ball up directly from Rabiot and Tchouameni, he could. If he wanted to drift from right to left, he could. If he wanted to be a straight #10, go right ahead. He sets up the first goal with a sinister through-ball.
I had spent the first 70 minutes or so really wondering how Rabiot has conned his way into being a pillar in this French Team From Outer Space and getting major clubs across Europe to consistently employ him. He certainly looks the part, but doens't ever feel like he's doing much. Then he hits this pass to Barcola:
Mbappe capped it off by finishing off yet another move created by Olise sitting a couple Senegal defenders on their ass on the dribble, which kicked off Star Gazing Tuesday. Future opponents might look at the lethargy France had in the first half, and the chances that Ismaila Sarr barfed over and think if they get those same looks, they'll do better. But they'll also see that 30 minutes in the second half and think they'd really better.
Norway 4 - 1 Iraq
Fox execs weren't done playing with their toys, getting the Erling Haaland World Cup debut they must've dreamed about. His first, to me, is the absolute elemental Haaland goal:
When this cross is hit, it doesn't look like he can get there. Yes, he's 7' 15" tall and his stretch is going to be more than others, but it's just how it looks. His sense of timing and burst just haven't been seen before or anywhere else. He stretches out a fraction of a second before you think he should, he surges to the ball, and he always gets solid contact on it. He just senses these things out like no one else.
Norway's tactics seemed a little strange. They reduced Martin Ødegaard to something of a hybrid winger instead of the midfielder/attacker hybrid that he is, and it kind of nullified him. Berge and Aursnes in the middle of midfield are more destroyers than creators. Clearly, Nusa on the left and Ryerson bombing up from right-back were meant to be the width. Then again, they don't have to create chance after chance. They just have to get Dr. Moreau's cheetah-giraffe up top a look or two.
Argentina 3 - 0 Algeria
So, you've gotten Mbappe two goals and Haaland two goals, and most of your promotional campaign has been about Mbappe chasing the World Cup goals record, Haaland making his debut...and some other guy chasing the World Cup goals record. What would be your ideal finish to the triple header? Probably getting that other guy some goals.
A text from the friend I attended the USMNT opener with in LA, after Messi's hat trick: "We're going to let Steph try and beat us from behind the arc."
That was the level of plan Algeria had. Sure, you can't really have a "Messi Rules" plan. Even if a team's first, second, and third priority is to latch someone onto #10 at all times, he has an unmatched-in-history ability to find space anyway. But Algeria let him tee up twice from his honey hole, right outside the D, which is playing Russian roulette with a bazooka. Throw in Zidane's kid in goal having his hands turn into anvils, and this is what you get.
There was a stretch in the second half, before and after it became 2-0, that got stretched, as Algeria chased the game. A better team than them are going to do the same to Argentina, and their midfield didn't look equipped to handle it. But Algeria just didn't have the weapons, and there's a limited amount of time anyone can play that way against Argentina before they get Messi loose.
What Argentina can do, when they get the lead, is smother a game out of any kind of event, thanks to starting four or five central midfielders. It limits the space that Cristian Romero has to chase attackers around with a machete, or Lisandro Martinez gnawing their achilles off, or Emi Martinez waving his wang at anyone who gets through that.
Still, Argentina's plan to mark man-to-man is going to look iffier against a team that has any interest in moving their midfielders around, yo-yoing them deep and running in behind a defense, because Argentina don't want Mac Allister, Fernandez, and De Paul having to cover a lot of ground. Probably still a couple weeks from seeing what that will look like.
Austria 3 - 1 Jordan
I mostly stayed up to watch this one to say that I did, to try to be as completionist as I can, to prove to no one how dedicated I can be while proving to everyone what a loser I am. And yet it ended up being pretty good.
Austria manager Ralf Rangnick is something of the root of "gengenpressing," the aggressive chasing down of the ball after losing it and closing off space, what Jurgen Klopp or Julian Nagelsmann have taken on. He is the Sonics to the Seattle music scene of the tactic. Which makes it strange that he played centerbacks at fullback, central midfielders out wide, a fullback as his #10, and a wildebeest as his starting striker. They certainly played at a high pace, but not really one they could connect to each other at. It was like asking a novice drummer to play "Ace Of Spades."
It also meant there was plenty of space behind them, and they didn't really have the recovery speed to get back if their press got beat. Which Jordan did manage a couple times. That's the thing about these expanded tournament. There may be teams with players we don't know, but just about all of them know how to play direct, how to get the ball forward quickly into space, and at least fashion something when doing so.
Anyway, Austria found a way, mostly because Jordan just didn't have the nous either up front or in defense. But teams with simply more are going to ravage the space they're leaving and can't make up.
Day 7 Preview
Portugal vs. DR Congo (1pm ET)
Let's see, the most up-his-own-ass athlete on the planet has just watched the one guy that has lived in his head for 15 years or so score a hat trick in his sixth World Cup. What do we think Ronaldo is going to be like? Get ready for a lot of free kicks blasted to College Station, a lot of demanding the ball from the penalty spot surrounded by markers, a lot of performative moaning and waving when he doesn't get the ball, and a fair amount of side-eyes from teammates when he blows yet another chance. And then he'll score a penalty and everyone will act as if it was another masterclass, especially Ronaldo himself.
England vs. Croatia (4pm)
Watch for Harry Kane to put on the performance that everyone will say Ronaldo did, and for England to be pretty dull with the ball. This is a team built to win as efficiently as possible, and Thomas Tuchel isn't one to get adventurous when they can control everything in possession. But it certainly might be enough to go all the way. Croatia's geezers in Texas in June are all going to have that confused facial expression you see on the altecockers in South Florida as they wander around.
Ghana vs. Panama (7pm)
Ghana might have a chip on their shoulder, seeing as how their rapist midfielder Thomas Partey wasn't allowed in Canada for, y'know, being a rapist. But we all know how these things go, his teammates will use it as a deformed take-that-haters battle cry.
Uzbekistan vs. Colombia (10pm)
South America has had a rough go so far, with Argentina's win being their only one so far. This is probably the second, and playing in the Azteca will make it sound a lot like a home game for them. Colombia has a nasty habit of playing above the sum of their parts.