Lost In America - Free, Daily World Cup Newsletter: Day 8 - You Ain't The First
Czechia 1 - 1 South Africa
Here's our first match that makes it feel like stretching this thing out to 48 teams was a mistake. While it can be clouded by the tension and noise the two teams make within the game, there are still stakes for them of course, but the quality was somewhere around "sandwich that fell behind the radiator." Czechia don't really have any players you'd pay to watch, so they don't attempt to play like they do, and wait around for either a set piece or a defensive mistake. Luckily, South Africa have been handing out defensive mistakes like E at a rave (are either of these things still a thing?), which the Czechs were at least competent enough to use to take a 1-0 lead.
Credit to South Africa, who really went for it in the second half, but simply didn't have the quality to make it count. Either the last touch went flubber, or the last pass misbehaved and fucked off somewhere else, etc. But pile on enough pressure, be ambitious enough, and maybe you get a bounce somewhere. Even if that bounce is off a defender's palm that's not all that far from his chest. Penalty, equalizer, point.
While a win for either would have given them a chance to advance in their last group game, and a loss would have eliminated either, the draw basically puts both of them out. They'll have to beat either South Korea (South Africa) or Mexico in the Azteca (Czechia) to have any chance, and that's a long shot. But at least they'll have a point to take home in the carry-on.
Switzerland 4 - 1 Bosnia-Herzegovina
Watching this one, in about the 12th minute, I said to myself, "There's no way that this isn't a 0-0." Bosnia didn't really have any interest in crossing the halfway line, unless five Switzerland players fell down and they could launch a cross towards Eden Dzeko's dome. Switzerland didn't really have the spice to cut through a packed defense. and it quickly descended into a TED talk on home repair. Or whatever the fuck TED talks are about. I've never watched one. I'm very hip.
Before the 4th quarter, Switzerland's only ploy seemed to be to spread the ball to Dan Ndoye on the left wing, and then watching him dribble the ball into an open sewer. They deployed Fabian Reider as a #10, but he never get into the box:
But after the hydration break, Johan Manzambi, Ruben Vargas, and Djibril Sow replaced the entire attack line behind striker Embolo, and the whole game changed. Sow actually linked up with Embolo, Manzambi provided a threat on the right side, while Vargas actually provided some danger on the left. 12 minutes later, the Swiss were up two goals and had gotten a Bosnian defender an early shower. There was some injury time goofiness that can happen when the result is in the books to goose the scoreline, which would have given the Swiss a goal-difference advantage, except Canada treated Qatar like Switzerland should have treated Qatar.
So now Switzerland will have to beat Canada in Vancouver to win the group. There could be a big difference between first and second. First gets a third-place team. Second gets South Korea in LA, which will basically be a home game for South Korea.
Canada 87 - 0 Qatar
Can we officially ban Qatar from the World Cup? If it wasn't for some woeful finishing from the Swiss, they would be 5-for-5 in getting their ass waxed over the past two editions of the tournament. They were defending around their 18-yard box 45 seconds in, and not all that well. The concept of a fullback making an underlapping run was something they looked at like the Hadron Collider. Even when they had 11 guys on the field, which wasn't for long, Canada was free to send passes and crosses into the box like it was a county fair game. They capped it all off with a horrific tackle that left Ismaël Kone's leg a Picasso. It may not have been dirty, but it was reckless and dangerous and needless when already down three and a man.
Am I angry that Qatar gave Jesse Marsch more than enough excuse to preen and strut and pose in front of all the cameras...
Credit to Canada, who saw a their opportunity to collect their first World Cup win and actually went after it. It was about as hanging of a curveball as a team could ever get on the world stage, but one still has to deposit it on the concourse. They did that.
Mexico 1 - 0 South Korea
Speaking of things that will make me angry...
Now that we're into the second shift of games, and teams know what the map to the R32 looks like, we're going to get a few affairs like this one. Both teams knew that a draw would basically assure them advancement, and did a whole "no big spots before the pay-per-view" match for the first half. It would have been that for the whole 90 had South Korea keeper Seuyng-Guy Kim not done a pretty solid impression of Kyle Schwarber trying to play the outfield, and simply gifted Mexico a goal they didn't have a huge thirst for.
Even after going down one, Korea didn't have a huge burr on their ass to get an equalizer. They probably can't win the group now, but a draw against South Africa will see them through in second, where they can draw either Canada or Switzerland most likely, and they'll fancy their chances against either. Especially as that game will only be a couple miles south of Koreatown. And as kitten-pawed as they looked against Mexico, there's little chance they could swallow their own face enough to not beat or draw South Africa.
This is the most momentum Mexico has generated in a group stage in some time, but it's not like they've been impressive. Both South Africa and South Korea have handed them opening goals, and South Africa was even kind enough to hand them a man-advantage or two. There's little thrust about them. But they are at home, they will get a third-place team in the R32 at home, and the vibes and juice are growing as a host, and you can never be too sure where that will lead. Once that train gets a'rollin'...
Day 9 Preview
USA vs. Australia (3pm ET)
This will be a real test of vibes and juice, because if the Yanks pull of a second-straight result of anything anywhere near Paraguay, I'll be writing these newsletters through the gallon of foam that drips out of my mouth.
Everyone seems pretty convinced that Australia will be a much stiffer test than Paraguay was, and certainly they have the film from the USMNT's opener to study. But the US isn't likely to try to fist-fuck their way through the middle of Australia's defense for 90 minutes the way Turkiye did, or to settle for bombing away from T-Mobile Park all afternoon as the Turks did, too.
The intrigue is whether Christian Pulisic will make the post, but it certainly feels like he won't. He probably won't be more than a sub option. Which leaves Pochettino with a real decision to make. He could opt for Gio Reyna, who probably can't get more than 60 minutes. Reyna would provide a safe-cracker's touch in very tight areas, which Australia will force on the edge of their box, but he won't provide any of the movement and interchanging that Pulisic did. That was a key to the US attack last Friday. Tim Weah would provide that movement, but none of the nous and slyness of Reyna. Or they could opt for Brenden Aaronson to just run around a lot, and possibly get the Aussies to kick the shit out of him out of pure annoyance and give the US a lot of set pieces. I don't know the answer, but over the course of the match, I'm sure Poch will try at least two of the three in some order.
The fear is the Aussies getting Irankunda or Touré isolated on the counter against Tim Ream, who makes dad-getting-off-the-couch noise whenever he has to turn to his goal, which Paraguay were never able to do. They only need one moment. The US's "rest" defense, their structure to foil any counter when they have the ball, will be pretty paramount, at least for the first 60-70 minutes. But the US can stretch the Aussie defense in a way Turkiye simply refused to. Robinson and Dest will stay wide. Tillman, McKennie, Balogun, and whoever the Pulisic replacement is, or Pulisic himself, can make use of the space that opens up when Australia has to deal with the wide fullbacks.
This feels like the McKennie game, as his whole thing is popping up in areas defenses forget about and scoring. Look for him to get a header somewhere.
Score first, and the US is mostly into the R32 already. Drag this out for an hour or more, and sphincters will start to resemble snare drums.
Scotland vs. Morocco (6pm ET)
Look, we all love the videos of the Tartan Army turning greater Boston into West Princes St. But the extravaganza is likely to take a hit here. Morocco really noogie'd Brazil for most of their opener, and Scotland were put on their heels by Haiti. Morocco declared for the draw with Brazil because they figured they would strut on both Scotland and Haiti. Expect them to show that today.
Brazil vs. Haiti (8:30)
While drawing conclusions after one game is an idiot's errand, that's what the World Cup forces us into. And it certainly feels like Carlo Ancelotti, the Brazil manager, is trying to replicate with them what he did with Real Madrid, which is install just enough of a platform and structure to let his stars win the game. Nothing too complicated, nothing designer, just enough to let Vini Jr. or Raphinha "do some shit." That should be more than enough against Haiti, who were brave against Scotland, but won't be allowed to get spiky nearly in the same way against the Seleçao.
Paraguay vs. Turkiye (11pm)
Important one for us Yanks, as if the home team does the business in the afternoon, than Paraguay getting anything out of this one means the US clinches the group with a game to go. That's never happened before. In order for that to happen, though, Paraguay is going to have to look way less bewildered by the concepts of "the other guys moving places" and "the other guys running a lot." They were completely caught off guard by the US's press and interchanging in the opener.
Luckily, Turkiye didn't really do much of that themselves against Australia, which is why they created just this side of dick. One would think they would actually start Yilmaz this time, though he won't do much for their width problem. Both need something out of this one to have any hope, and given their reputations, expect the ref's elbow to get a little sore from brandishing cards.