Daily World Cup Newsletter - Group C Preview: Vini Vini Vini, Can't You See
We move on to Brazil's group in our trip around the tournament, where there will be goals, goals, goals!
Brazil
Should You Care? Of course, it's Brazil. Not just that, it's this Brazil, where every game might be 6-4. And it's Carlo Ancelotti's Brazil, and he's a manager who very well might be content to let every game be 6-4. His Madrid teams were pretty much, "Eh, go play." That doesn't mean Brazil is a threat to win this, even though Brazil are always thought of as a threat to win a World Cup, because they insist on being thought of that way. But wherever they eventually go down, it will be such an end! And the soundtrack to it is usually great.
It's been a weird decade already for Brazil, and a recent World Cup history. They haven't been past the quarters in the last two editions, and you probably remember the semifinal nuclear self-immolation they put forth at home in 2014. They seemingly haven't recovered from that, 12 years later. They might have been a touch unlucky to lose to Croatia on penalties in Qatar four years ago, but they also got dusted in midfield by Modric and Kovacic, which looks like the same problem they'll have this time around. They lost the 2021 Copa America final at home, which opened the door to Argentina getting past whatever mental blocks they had about winning anything with Messi, which culminated with them winning in Qatar. That would have gone down in Brazil about as well as a Malort shot laced with rat piss (arguably one in the same). They just haven't been BRAZIL in a while.
Part of that is it's hard for them to play like BRAZIL anymore, given that the whole squad plays in Europe, with the more systematic ways of playing, be it either the drilled possession-and-pass ways Raphinha sees at Barcelona, or the more physical world their Premier League contingent deals with week to week. "Joga Bonita" just isn't something employed much of anywhere. Even Vinicius Jr., as fun as he is and the pain in the ass he can be, flourishes in a specific defend-and-counter motif where he can get into space. That might be what Ancelotti is angling for with this outfit.
Do They Care? More than anyone. Hiring Ancelotti was something of a desperate stab by Brazil to reclaim their place among the C-suite of international soccer, not just rotating in whatever local stooge whose turn it was to take the reins, as has been their normal routine. Ancelotti immediately grabs the attention of any player, given the stacks of trophies he keeps in a separate wing of his house, and the thought must be that some of Brazil's players had gotten a little out over the skis about what they actually were.
Any Dudes? Oh, so many fucking dudes. Kind of all in the same area of the field though, which will make them fun but flawed. They could start with a frontline of Vini Jr., Raphinha, Igor Thiago, and Matheus Cunha. That's a bouncy castle!
They do have dudes in defense, too. Gabriel just backstopped Arsenal to the Premier League title, and possibly Champions League. If he doesn't do the latter, it's because Marquinhos will have for PSG. Bruno Guimaraes is a pillar for Newcastle, though he's had to deal with injuries all season.
The problem might hinge in that they've brought in former dude Neymar, who was never quite the dude he thought he was, or that the marketing campaign insisted he was. No Neymar-centric team has won much of anything that mattered, and now he's old. But Ancelotti bowed to the internal pressure to bring him along, which doesn't bode well for Ancelotti installing his own brand on this team. Neymar is a god in Brazil because he plays the way they used to all the time. It's just that style doesn't really fit into the modern game. Now either Neymar plays and gums up the works for a team that could attack at lightning speed. Or he doesn't, and Ancelotti has to spend a lot of time looking bored and disinterested in a furious Brazilian press grilling him on why Neymar isn't playing. Luckily, looking bored and disinterested is an Ancelotti specialty.
How'd They Get Here? The South American qualifying process has always been madness, where all 10 teams play each other home and away, meaning it takes forever and has way too many games. This cycle was even more of a joke, considering that six teams got an automatic pass to the tournament and a seventh got into the playoff. That means any of the teams with a pulse just had to float through an endless slog to get to the conclusion they were always going to. Much like your work day.
Brazil didn't exactly strut through it. They finished fifth, losing to Argentina twice, failing to beat Uruguay, and splitting with Colombia. Their away record was especially spotty, beating only Peru and Chile. Some of that could have been the comfort in how forgiving qualifying was and trying shit out, but it's not the kind of Jagger-walk we'd assume Brazil would put forth.
They Getting Out Of Here? Oh sure. This tournament format is just as forgiving as qualifying. But the group could be a little bumpy. Starting off with Morocco is not ideal, as the Atlas Lions can be kidney-stone obstinate. Scotland in the third game could be a similar encounter, though the Scots playing in Miami in late June could also result in a very fetid pool that used to be their players and fans by the 60th minute.
If they win the group, the Round of 32 could see the Dutch, or Japan, or Sweden, the first two of which would be a much tougher assignment than Brazil would want. The round of 16 could see Ivory Coast, Ecuador, Norway, or Senegal. Argentina may be waiting in the quarters. If Brazil goes farther than the last two editions, they'll earn it.
Prediction: Some weird stuff is going to happen in this tournament, given how quickly it comes around after the European season, the travel involved within it, and the weather. It feels like something weird could happen with Brazil. Which means they could win it, if Vini and Raphinha go Hamm. Or it could mean they're dick in the dirt well before they're used to, as the players start eating each other in the group stage. I'd lean toward the latter. They're weak and thin in midfield, and Casemiro isn't going to have Bruno Fernandes finding his head in the box consistently. They can't link well there, and any well-drilled team is going to be able to run through them. Maybe even Japan in the first knockout game could get interesting.
Morocco
Should You Care? Absolutely, if only because the vibes with the Atlas Lions are so goddamn bizzare. They should have the buzz of being the only African team to reach a World Cup semifinal four years ago, and being maybe the best African team in this tournament. Instead, they're coming off the most bonkers match, the African Cup of Nations Final in January, a tournament rife with accusations of being slanted by officials toward Morocco, who were hosting, as well as the final itself which saw Senegal walk off the field for 10 minutes. Morocco missing an injury time penalty that would have won it, losing in extra time, bitching in court about it, and retroactively being declared champions, which basically makes no one happy. What that means on the field, who the fuck can know? But it's certainly unique!
It's good that they'll have all that weirdness, because actually watching Morocco can be a chore. A fireworks factory, they are not. Throw in the heat and humidity they'll see in New York and Boston for their first two games, and well, just have some tasty snacks on hand to brighten your day. If you're going to suffer through 90 minutes with them, at least make them fattening.
Do They Care? More than they might have, if only to wash out the taste of whatever the aftermath of the AFCON was. Either they don't want to be seen as the whiny assholes who kicked up such a fuss after losing that they Lisa Simpson'd their way to being called winners. Or they don't want to be seen as the suckiest bunch of sucks who biffed a final at home. Either way, they'd like to get back to the glow of 2022, and proving that wasn't some odd disturbance in the Force.
Any Dudes? Plenty! It starts with Achraf Hakimi, who will be listed as a right-back but plays every other position during a match. Brahim Diaz missed that penalty in the AFCON final, possibly on purpose, but he's still a big cog at Real Madrid. Ayoub El Kaabi is one of the best goalscorers in Greece. Same goes for Ismael Saibari in Holland. Noussair Mazraoui became a dependable defender for Manchester United.
How'd They Get Here? Absolutely walked qualifying, winning every game, with a +20 goal-difference.
They Getting Out Of Here? Definitely, and they could even do it as group winners. They could catch Brazil cold in the opener, and Haiti and Scotland are really going to struggle to break them down. From there, it's the same path we just outlined for Brazil, which could go any number of ways.
Prediction: Round of 16? I think they can definitely win this group, and their style and cohesion, and perhaps enhanced sense of purpose after that AFCON mess, will make them very tricky. To beat them is to grapple with them for 90 or 120 minutes in whatever swamp-ass locale they happen to be playing in that day. It won't be a task anyone is looking forward to.
Scotland
Should You Care? As stated above, it's the Scottish in the sun, for however long they stick around. And not just in the sun, but lager-filled in the sun. Watching their fans try to figure out how to get to Foxboro for their first two games should be on television. Watching them try to survive Miami probably shouldn't be. Can sunburns become sentient?
As for the team, they're a pretty good story. Haven't been to a World Cup in 28 years. Only returned to the Euros five years ago after an extended absence from those, though their last two attempts in the Euros haven't gone well, both ending in the group stage. And when you qualify like this...
...how can you not get romantic about baseball?
Do They Care? They've been drunk since that McLean goal hit the net.
Any Dudes? A few. Scott McTominay somehow became one of the better players in Serie A over the past two seasons. Which you might chalk up to the quality in Italy, but is actually a tribute to McTominay's nose for getting into the area from midfield and scoring. John McGinn was on the engine for Villa's run to the Europa League crown and 4th in the Premier League. Ryan Christie was an energizer bunny for Bournemouth, though he was more of a sub this past season. I'm contractually obligated to say Andy Robertson, who was the best left-back in the world for a minute there a while back. But.. (look around nervously)...he's basically cooked now. Which is why he's the perfect Tottenham signing.
How'd They Get Here? They got out of a pretty tricky qualifying group with Denmark, Belarus, and Greece, though it always felt like they played like dogshit and then McTominay would score. The players themselves were saying so. Whatever works.
They Getting Out Of Here? (tugs collar). It's going to be tough. The opening game against Haiti is a boon, but it's also a game where they'll be expected to carry the play. The lack of striker that can hit a bull in the ass with a shovel could be an issue here. It will especially be an issue against Morocco, who give up a goal a year. Then they might have to get something out of a match against Brazil, in what will almost certainly be a home game for the Selecao. Feels like even with three points it might not be enough.
Prediction: Third place, not enough, lots of aloe on the plane home.
Haiti
Should You Care? Yep, great story, only their second ever World Cup, and first since 1974. Sure, they only got here because the three CONCACAF heavyweights were taken out of qualifying, but someone's gotta take the cheese.
Do They Care? They're in delirium, but they've already done what they needed to by getting here. Watching their team walk out against Brazil will be a true thrill, as will the first time their anthem plays before their opener.
Any Dudes? Wilson Isidor scored a few for Sunderland, though he scored more of them in the Championship. Danley Jean Jacques is a piece for Philadelphia Union. Duckens Nazon was their leading scorer in qualifying, as well as having one of the best names. Duckens!
How'd They Get Here? As said, with the US, Mexico, and Canada removed from CONCACAF qualifying, there was room for some wildcards. Haiti grabbed the brass ring, but getting a draw in Costa Rica and beating them at home takes more than a smile, as the US will attest.
They Getting Out Of Here? Nope, but that's not really the point.
Prediction: See above.
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